Hold Me Tight is designed to help partners gain insight about themselves and one another and to enhance their communication, whether or not it is broken. I needed to journal and grow with it a bit and that took months. It takes Bowlby's attachment theory and expands on it for adults and their relationships. Much as does the scent of patchouli oil and as does the sound of gauzy-eyed adults whispering for their inner child to come on out for a good old back rub, "Hold Me Tight" evokes (again, for this reader) scary New Agey associations. We get aggressive or shut down. The author says that John Bowlby with his attachment theory revolutionized the understanding of human psychology. In 8 mistakes women do in dating I mention of an ex of mine whom was always struggling to be independent from me. She is the Director of the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (which has numerous affiliated Centers around the world), the Director of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute, a Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California and a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Ottawa. In a relationship? It's so crucial to understanding empathy and compassion and it uses scientific evidence to reinforce the notion that, like it or not, people need people and it's important to make the best of companionship in whatever form it takes. I feel that this book isn't meant to be read (like I did) so much as it is meant to be studied. The author uses corny names like "Protest Polka" (I prefer "defense-withdraw dialogue"), but the concepts are really helpful. This is compared to most other forms of couple therapy that achieve a 35 percent success rate. Those who are doing well. A bit dramatic, but still loved it! Dr. Sue Johnson is a world-renowned expert in the field of couples therapy. Industry Reviews. But geez! Hold Me Tight MP3 CD – MP3 Audio, April 15, 2014. Sue Johnson says that most couples’ therapy so far focuses on fixing conflicts and power struggles. HOLD ME LIKE A BREATH From the Once Upon a Crime Family series , Vol. And some people fall in love with books about falling in love. But we don't just have brains, we have hearts and close relationships bring us peace and happiness. At the same time, The sections that I didn't find applicable were significantly less interesting. But we don't just have brains, we have hearts and close relationships bring us peace and happiness. Topics Dr. Johnson addresses include: attachment and bonding, the science of love, interventions to repair relationships, and forgiveness. We long for that same closeness, the opportunity to be who we are completely, permission to be needy and longing for affection from our spouse (as we had from our parents). "Hold Me Tight" qua self-help book title evokes, in this reader, all the wrong associations. It really gets to the root of things. Hold Me Tight explains readers that the most important element of any intimate relationship is emotional intimacy. therapy into book form was not a complete success, if it is even possible. Revisiting a Rocky Moment – Break down and analyze some a typical argument. No matter how unique, bizarre, or exceptional you (or your relationship) may be, I guarantee there's something in this book that applies to you and is important for you to be aware of. A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century.--Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Getting It Right the First Time Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. Excusing Anxious Attachment And you don't need to be a psychology student to "get it." This is compared to most other forms of couple therapy that achieve a 35 percent success rate. A lot of conversation examples could have been shorter for example, and more strongly tied back to the need for emotional understanding and emotional connection. This is the bedrock of a solid relationship. Sue Johnson “Hold Me Tight” is a marriage counseling book by a well-known marriage counselor.. She developed a therapy called he emotionally focused therapy that has been very helpful for many couples. The author goes quickly over the different types of attachment styles. The final conversation shows you how to care for your relationship on a daily basis. I'm single but have identified myself as having an anxious attachment issues. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words. The core of her theory is that loving relationships are built on … Becoming more emotional intelligent will not only make your relationships better, but it will outright improve your lives. The fourth conversation is the one that transforms relationships by making them more accessible, emotionally responsive and engaged. We don't necessarily agree with the approach in the book, but it's a good way to re-assess how things are going, and perhaps we'll gain something useful from the book. Some people fall in love. This is an interesting and pretty accessible book for people looking for marriage guidance or couples therapy. But like I said, this book is loaded with corn dork phrases and it really disrupted my engagement with this book. Those just starting their relationship. Raw spots are particularly important because they relate to painful sensitivities that are particularly damaging when touched. See all formats and editions. Reading this book has been a spiritual activity for me and a journey inward. Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2017. While this book is aimed at couples (not just heterosexual couples but any), this would be deeply helpful in deepening emotional connection in any close relationships, especially friendships (except for 1 or 2 conversations maybe). The author say we fail to repair these dynamics because we are not attuned to our partners. This book was recommended by my wife's uncle, a teacher/couples therapist, who recommended it as one of the best books written about relationships. Nude, as in, everybody in attendance, guests and minister (excepting, hopefully, his clerical collar) included, sans sartorial stitch one. There is approximately twenty years of extensive research into EFT at hand here. We all want a lifetime of love, support, and companionship. 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