I have my daughter an equal amount of time as my ex. Someone has to take him to see his specialists, and get treatments and therapies. The government’s new child maintenance strategy shows it is listening to the concerns raised by Gingerbread and single parents, [1] but still leaves question marks as to whether the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) is fit for purpose. It is an investment in their well being. I'm 20 years old my ex doesn't let me see my daughter. If I don't get a payment by tuesday, I am marching into that office, making sure it is done. Most experts agree that the percentage of non-custodial parents who can easily afford to pay their child support but refuse to do so because they simply don’t want to comply with court-ordered support is quite low. For the mothers/fathers who have been ordered to pay child support, but can't afford the amount ordered: I understand that certain things are required to live and maintain an income, i.e. And still pay him. I was awarded a measly $300 a month, which didn't cover child care expenses while I worked. He is now getting his son on the weekends, but I need help with some of our son's expenses. this is a topic that for sure a lot of you will comment on, but i hope people will also think about the legal wife who's taking good care of the man and not the other woman who doesn't deserve anything. It's hard working as many hours as i do to support me and my child, but i do it because i have to. It's sad and I wish the the judge would take a good look at their rulings and do something to make the system more fair. Deadbeat parents - father or mother - are all losers! I changed my career to do this. I'm so mad at him. He never worked. Wake up from the dream and think about it. If you are fine without the other party, then quit complaining about extra money for "your child" please. It should be set up like the food card limited to what you can purchase. My ex wasn't very stable, so I didn't move on any legal compulsion to get him to spend more time with our son or provide child support. A majority of so-called parents make me sick. The Child Support Enforcement Act of 1984 allows district attorneys to help you collect court-ordered child support from a parent who refuses to pay. He won't even come by to see them. a roof over your head, food, clothing, vehicle and gas to get back and forth to work, and a phone. Being a single mother myself, who has never received one dime of child support in my child's 16 years of life, and presently being in a relationship of five years where I have watched my fiance be raped of every dime he earns, yes, I can feel sorry for the noncustodial father, because I have seen both sides. I am a single mom of three daughters. Deadbeat parents shown how to 'legally' avoid child support (Daily Examiner, 9 … I was going to go to London to further my education when my ex husband said he wanted my son if I go. This article is NOT to ridicule fathers who pay child support.Many I wish parents would quit using their children as pawns. They are too concerned with trying to hurt the other parent. Now I am supposed to pay an exorbitant amount of support to my ex who refuses to even look for a job, but has the money and time to sit around, smoke, and get drunk all day and night with her drug dealing friends and relatives. My spouse is a loyal, kind-hearted individual -- one of those father types that all mothers want in a father. Only 45.9% of the custodial parents who were owed child support money received full payments in 2017, according the U.S. Census Bureau’s Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support report released in 2020. The last time we were in court was about one year ago. I don't have education or a career, but I'm a hell of a loving father who wants to be there every day for my child. I've been busting my butt trying to find work and I buy my daughter clothes and shoes and help when I can but I barely am surviving and I can't even get my own place. Daddy was a big baby so you'll have to do without. i have to take care of my two kids on a 400.00 a month check (yes it can be done. I can support my family, but who couldn't use $13,000 which is legally owed to them? I’ve lost three decent paying trucking jobs. You are just as ignorant for throwing all women in the same boat and just as bad as the women who man bash and think that all dads are dead beats. For the first two years he wouldn't pay me what the court ordered him to pay, which was $150 a week (and he had a good paying job as well) no, his girlfriend thought he should pay me $115 a week instead, which she thought was what I should get instead. If a non-resident parent doesn’t Pay Child Maintenance, and the resident parent uses the CSA’s collection service, the Agency will contact the debtor to try to arrange payment, including arrears. My mom is a single mom with two kids: me and my sister. Right now he is refusing to buy our son diapers. 3. Since when does the system take false claims and malicious statements against one's character and then allow no chance at fairness or justice and no consequences to those who lie time and time again? i have to stay in a 2 bedroom trailer because of how the courts are run. It's more to what else she was doing but to make a story short he was awarded full custody of all three of his kids. I think that if you don't pay your support for three months without just because, then you go to a work farm jail-- as in the situation of mine, he quit his 130k a year job so he didn't have to pay me. These are your children, not pawns to use to get back at each other. How can I be a good father and keep her in horseback riding lessons or take her on vacations. My son decided to stay with his dad, which broke my heart, so I decided to stay and try get him back as I live in a two bedroom flat I cannot have him here till I get a three bedroom house. Well, now almost 10 years later, I got the state to issue a mandate for him to take a blood test. They respect me 100 percent they know who was there for them, took care of them and to them and I gave up a lot for them. The problem is that the better his life got the less he was willing to give to our son. Second, why do all these mothers and fathers feel like there is a need to *hate* one another for a wrong decision? Does this hurt my personal life? In essence, instead of him supporting his son, I am supporting his entire family with my tax dollars. It's selfish and disgusting. What if I sacrificed that V-8 and found a smaller place a little closer to work? It's been really difficult over the years to be carrying the load of my son's care on top of the load of guilt and responsibility that I assumed because my ex disrespects me. If i didn't keep up with my daughter. The father has a job and shares rent with others only paying $300 a month. Imputing Income to an Unemployed Parent. It's disgusting. I have worked hard to increase my education and income, while my ex has worked hard to do the least possible, yet he has benefited far more from the system than our children or I ever could. Now he uses his broken hand as an excuse not to look for a job. When she finally admitted to drug use she released temp custody of our son to me. Failure to pay support can also result in a fine and jail sentence, although this law is rarely enforced. Everyone needs to live. The CSA will make an assessment having regard to the time that each parent spends with the children and the parents respective incomes. On top of that, there is a day not too far off when I get to try to explain why Daddy isn't here. I pay for my car, insurance, food and room and board and there's nothing left. If one parent is doing all the work, the other deserves to be compensated for the part that was supposed to be shared. Custodial mothers and fathers and their child support: 2013. If you lived with the child full time it would be more. Men help pay for them to do it, so suck it up already! He was given chance after chance to do right. I still have a 15 year old daughter still at home. hell i even got a check one month from the DA for over paying for that month. However, if a father doesn't pay, he can get in trouble with the court. It's really gross how it seems to work out. The only way she is allowed by the courts to see them is if she goes through the visitation center and tests clean. Just so you know, there are deadbeat moms out there too. I gave him another chance after the hospital to be a better father. You let the kids tell it. It is about the kids. Most noncustodial fathers aren't left with enough to pay their own rent. It was pretty bad to the point I wouldn't eat and I would just cry everyday. I cannot afford to pay child support without taking the food right out of my own families mouths. I have really lost faith in the system. you women make me sick. Father won't pay child maintenance as he's stopped working Child Maintenance Options (CMO) are no longer active here, but you can read their advice to others on this board. That woman has a job and a live-in boyfriend who also has a job. Anyway, nothing but love for you all and respond and let's work something out, everyone agree and submit it. regardless, if you wanted the child or children they are here now and need to be provided for. They aren't paying you. Every time they start their collections, he promises to pay, then either doesn't keep the arrangements or doesn't pay at all. Child Support Agency. They make it out like the child has only the mom’s genes. It does not raise the child. He didn't even call them on christmas! Stop whining about how you can't pay $590. In October, the mother told him my granddaughter needed braces and asked if he would pay half, which would be $53.00/mo for 12 months. The state is looking into that too. I called him every day for almost four years, picked him up on the weekends, and kept him during summers and many holidays. I am adopted, and don't know my birth parents. They are all that matter. Sadly, it sounds like your children are an awful burden to you. The majority of women are struggling to make ends meet, the child support isn’t and will never be enough, and at some point in the child’s life have to stress about running after the parent when they try to stop paying or move to disappear. And some of you say that women are not gold diggers! To all of the guys who posted “she left so I don't have to pay,” I feel sorry for you! Obviously I cannot leave the kids alone with him. He has only seen her 3 times. During the divorce. Father won't pay child maintenance as he's stopped working Child Maintenance Options (CMO) are no longer active here, but you can read their advice to others on this board. I work as a cna and there are several women that I work with that take care of their own. In addition, he got so mad at me that he broke his own hand right in front of me by punching the floor. He was MIA while we were married, and now he wants 50/50 on paper to lower his child support, but says I can keep them as much as I want. Why should a child go without if his father can support him? Not at the expense of the misuse of police and CAS to engage in her revenge. He wouldn't even clean up after himself, much less the kids. It all was spent on my Autistic son who has the potential to become anything he wants to become when he is old enough to make decisions for himself. My husband filed for child support when she was served. Mecklenburg County Child Support Enforcement Department, https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2016/demo/P60-255.pdf. The father of my two daughters almost never paid child support. Option: If the parent does not want to have a relationship with the child, the, no support from both parties. He never pays on time and it has become a real problem cause I depend on that money since we are living under the poverty line and he is living the high life with his new wife and children that aren't biologically his. so what do fathers like myself do?!?!?! It's also kind of funny how the deadbeat could care for the child and help with expenses prior to the separation/divorce, but now that you're on your own, you are all of a sudden disabled! What we put into them makes for the future -- theirs and yours. Before the court order, all i could get out of his hands was 300 dollars for two kids. I left his father and his verbal abuse toward me. First off, a woman doesn’t get pregnant by herself. I could just choke her! The federal government takes issue with parents who attempt to work the system and avoid child support payments. He left the state that we lived in (taking a truck driving job, which he lost due to drug use) and lived with his mother. Now that's her choice but I don't feel if you have made that choice knowing how difficult it is to raise a child and sorry but you know this prior to making a baby in the first place, why then should he pay, you wanted it not him and I'm a woman. Yep, a 17 year-old boy’s insurance is high after an accident. No. I am struggling. What should I do because I can't seem to contact anyone in this broken system. It's not fair that our credit gets ruined because the other parent refuses to pay or get a job in order to take care of their child! The mental and physical abuse was supposed to stop when I divorced him. It's been over and over with that witch. I have always bought anything that my kids need or want. my friend is paying $600 plus 175 in insurance a month in child support when he only makes $1,200 a month. I raised them that way! I am an Aussie single mum of my intelligent, bright and smart 9 year old. That I need to be realistic and not expect the father to pay to support, because we all know custodial parents live off three (!) It's so you can get a new car, house, or plastic surgery because you're materialistic. He is a good father and has always paid his child support and carried insurance both medical and dental on his daughter. Another option to enforce a child support order is to request that the court hold your child’s father in contempt of court until he pays. I am far from able to buy new clothes or shoes for myself, but I always make sure my kids have everything they need or want. I am paying support to my ex-wife and she is not cashing the checks. You would be surprised at how much it helps. They did a court liaison program but he didn't do as he was told. It is easier for them to pay off the kids. Their father moved us to a new state and then decided he did not want his family anymore. 1. The child support order was established at our divorce and custody trial -- $150 per month per child (2). just because they don't have them every day doesn't mean they owe you, as long as the child doesn't go without. And for those men who complain about the woman not wanting an abortion and if she can’t support the baby financially by herself then she shouldn’t have it, I think you’re missing the point. I'm not saying that the dad should not pay. If he is working for cash than there is no reason he can't pay child support so therefore, he needs to get a real job. As a result of these attacks, I've lost my ability to cross the border. I used DHS to help recover child support. No one is pointing the finger at deadbeat dads, but rather at dead beat parents in general, be it the mother or father. Why is she not expected to go to work? They see this raising a child situation, as a game of right and wrong. Come on! She has four kids by four different men and is still married to her ex because she can't pay for the divorce (so she says), works under the table, gets welfare because of "no income" and yet keeps popping out babies! I am not working and in school full time and he refuses to even watch them so I can study and get work done, which would cost him nothing. i too, have this same problem. I didn't ask for this. Fair is fair and the man should help support the children but he is not obligated to support you as well! If you can't afford the support, ordered to you work out a deal outside the court. He sees his daughter twice a month (his choice) for four hours each time. I feel no loyalty to it anymore. All they want to be is kids. I feel like taking my own life is the only way out. I'm an only child from a divorced home. He owes all but $2,000 in child support now, he has tried to get costody of her and failed. It's kind of funny how the custodial parent can find a job, keep their job, and pay all expenses for their child without a problem. If they would just take responsibility right away for their kids they wouldn't be in arrears and then cry that they are broke and can't afford to pay. The fact is, if he still lived in the home with his children, the family would have to deal with the lowered income, so why must a displaced father be expected to turn water into wine? There are many things that a non-custodial parent can do to ease the financial "burden" of paying child support. I allow him to visit the kids, call the kids, all lines of communication are still open -- even though this "deadbeat" has yet to pay me a dime since 10/09 (I know not a long time but every penny counts), stole my taxes for two years now in a row, and calls only when it is convenient for him. Anyway, finally she left him. Even if your child’s other parent agrees to allow you to skip some child support payments or pay less than you are ordered, be aware that they can always go back and declare that you are in contempt of court. @154 and other people in your mind set: What you are not getting, is that there are good Dads out there, who do pay their child support, and for whatever reason, fall behind. Mind you, we have only been broken up for three months. For one thing, CSS — like many government agencies — is overburdened and its cases tend to proceed slowly, so if you need money now, they may not be able to help. first of all, just because a marriage or relationship is over, it does not mean that the father (or non custodial parent) gets out of helping support their child financially. I live 1,000 miles away and don't get visitation. He's been very good about paying and he's been paying on his own. It doesn't matter what the custodial parent does with money; it's on you to pay for your kids. OK first off, for someone to say that women who seek child support are just lazy, don't want to work and are looking for a way to make the "father" pay, that could not be any further from the truth! I agree that some women who just keep having kids they can't take care should be more responsible. He is behind in child support by 50,000. Doesn't he have any rights? What about the custodial mother who is homeless with her four kids? She now has three more children (from possibly three different fathers) besides my two who live with me. If so, make sure to consult with an experienced custody lawyer. All of these deadbeats who post make me laugh. Some parents, however, refuse to pay child support for their children even when ordered to do so by a court. I won't come here and complain (as some of you all have) but the question is: what can be done if a parent refuses to pay child support? This is just my opinion. The money in question goes with the child where ever he/she goes, and the money is accounted for. The court ordered him to pay child support for our two children, which he felt was optional. oh, and #61, they will come and get you even if you move out of state. Listen here men, and women who say "you walk away from me, you walk away from my money," I left because that low-life loser was living off of me for seven years! The mother refuses to let him have any visitation and they don't have a parenting plan. Here I was only 19 years old with three small toddlers! i feel sooooo low i need some sort of help my ex doesn't pay a penny for my daughter has now got access to her through the courts even tho he is violent and uses drugs nobody has listened to my concerns. My daughter is five. but then again what about me? Now is she a gold digger? He sees them maybe once a month, and is behind on his child support again! Can somebody please tell me why I should have to pay child support in this situation? If you are homeless because you pay child support, then something is very wrong. In addition to UIFSA, there are a couple of acts that penalize deadbeat parents. what was that supposed to do for them? now i make 400 a month and i pay 215.00 a month. I'm going to make him lose his house. Man is retired and the Social Security checks are garnished for child support that the state paid on behalf of his ex wife 30 years ago. He's kept a good career-type job for several years now. In the end, you are only hurting yourself and leaving the kids to suffer. With God's grace, that same month- as I would not be able to get the money- I was hired by a big corporation and so I could be able to take care of my little Angel. How about when your child, let's say a daughter, has a child and her child's father does not help out financially? Little kids need help in life. I met a guy who at the time we met was divorced with one child and had a relationship with another woman, whom ended up getting pregnant, now she lied to him and told him she was on birth control, but wasn't, then condom broke and bang prego. Notice the "we aren't together so I shouldn't pay" attitudes. There is no grey line when it comes to supporting your children. It makes me sick. he is the one missing out on God's gift to the world. Child support payments are lower if you have at least 2 nights with the children per fortnight. Now he pays 1 or 2 times each month, sometimes. It's intended to care for your children! Get an abortion before you push a living being out) to trap a man who's way too good for her into staying with her after he realized she was simply a master of distracting people away from her faults. That can not support a family of 6! On the top of that she has a younger daughter about four years old, who she gave her to her cousin. What was he supposed to do besides wait for the courts to figure out custody? I do all the laundry. After all, I am the maid, nurse, taxi driver, counselor, and chef, while he plays no role. I worked two jobs just to support the kids (Had two kids already from a previous marriage and that father did right by those two. I got mad and threw them out the window because she just had me served at our home – the one I had to leave in front of my daughter, so I can't say a thing. I foolishly thought it would be good for the kids. This removes your ex from the process, so you won’t have to contact him in the future to find out when or if he plans to pay. 133: I could not have said it any better. The truth is, a lot of women use child support as a weapon. What should he do? This is not fair for legal wives who take care of their husbands, take care of the house, and then money will be given to a woman who doesn't do anything for him. They make false claims and the courts don't do a think about these women. The mother had instigated a few one night stands with me (fully protected of course) about a month before the child could have been conceived based on the birth date. How can a person walk away from their children? I worked off and on during our marriage, as money allowed me to do. So I did. About 2 years ago, he was ordered to pay child support through Maintenance Enforcement. Wonderful does nothing but stay home doing absolutely nothing but her nails. I know that we're living in tough economic times, but if you can't pay the full amount, try to work out something with the court. My husband and I were not married long, but long enough to have twins. That’s all I have to say. He called me yesterday just to tell me he is not going to pay for our kids because I chose to leave! I have no problem supporting her but I have to draw the line in the sand somewhere. Now he has been in and out of jail, hasn't been employed in years and doesn't get income tax returns because he doesn't pay any income taxes. I am a single mother of two. If he doesn’t pay voluntarily, the court will deduct his child support from the bond. Just prior to her jail time. I willingly walked away from the marriage and only wanted 2,000.00 for the home we shared and joint custody of our son. I have a 3 year old little girl and the father is supposed to pay $200 a month for her and he is on and off with jobs all the time. He is almost 5 feet tall and wears shoes bigger than my own! I can't live the american dream. Not all of us spend the support money on ourselves. I don't need his money, nor have I spent a cent from what I had received. We go to court today (Jan 2010). There were many times that I was made to drive and get my child support from them and that was an hour drive! I coach my son's baseball team and go to every one of my daughter's gymnastic practices. The Child Support Agency (CSA) is run by the Federal Government and they govern the bulk of Australia’s child support agreements. 30 days has to have lapsed in between payments. One of my friend told me to be patient an good will come. Anger never solves anything. As an added she was denied lowering in one court and another refused to hear her case. I hope they all rot in hell for depriving their children of what they deserve! I'm female and will probably take heat for this post but I don't care. I want to have a part in my children's upbringing, but I refuse to be coerced in the manner it's happening! will not help do anything with my son -- not even call when my son was sick with the flu. She is constantly asking him to sign over his rights so her parents can adopt her child, but he wants more visitation and she denies it. Two of these children were taken from her (she was deemed an unfit parent by the state of CA, where I got full custody of my two kids from her) and were adopted by a family out of foster care. She tells me, "I cannot pay and what can you do about it have me locked up." Children are not a debt. I deserve it, I have worked hard for it and above all I love and live for my kids -- it is that simple! The government will pay for the day care. Will he go to jail? Yeah, we lived, or rather, I lived, oh so large on that! So for all parents out there whinging and complaining out there, stop. I know that is too much that he is paying for child support and he is not getting anything in return. Non Custodial parent going back to school he is going to need loans. My ex husband owes them $60,000.00 in past due support. My son has a daughter. My ex had custody by default and she was a very worthless mother. My ex has been late before on his child support before, where he didn't pay for over six months, but that didn't stop me from letting the parent see the child. When I told him that I pay R1000.00 for her per month (R400-school fees; R300-school transport & R300- welfare at my mother's house). We had a daughter and a year later found out I was pregnant with twin boys. The children are grown. Why would anyone want to stay here is just beyond my belief. I worked doing house construction. This woman goes to bars and takes some drugs. You can also apply online to begin your child support enforcement case and receive a caseworker. 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